April is Autism Awareness month. During this month Autism Speaks wants people to shine a light on autism (a blue light). I put out of my Autism Speaks sign and put in my blue light on my porch every April but I am not a supporter of Autism Speaks. Many people have their own reasons behind this most of it has to do with money or for many other reasons (but it isn't worth getting into it). I like to have people donate to local autism charities instead of Autism Speaks. Between DAP and Autism Delaware we get to go to certain events that are tailored to the needs of my kids. So donating money to them would make sure that these events happen for others. So regardless of what I think about Autism Speaks I still follow along with the campaign. I realized though awareness is sort of a silly word....who isn't aware of autism now? Everyone knows about autism but do they really know what it is? Do they accept it? I no longer want awareness...I want acceptance for my kids. I am told the funny looks I get towards my kids is all in my head. I am pretty sensitive to it....mainly because I have gotten those looks all my life. I know I am a beacon for looks but I know when my child falls to the floor and I do my 1-2-3 count (it calms myself and Mia down...and I scan the surrounding to make sure no one gets hurt...I see the stares) I guess I would look too if I saw a child fall to the ground but it is attention I don't need at the moment. It isn't really the looks is the whisper to the friend and the eye rolling after, it is assuming that my child is a brat. It is assuming I am a bad mother. I don't really care what people think about me. I do care what they think about my kids because I won't always be able to protect them.
So what I am trying to say? I don't really know I am sure this will end up being a babbling mess. I love this month. I love all the events people plan just for my kids. I love going somewhere that is tailored just for my kids. I love them being the guest of honor. I love my kids feeling special. I like not having the little extra bit worry of having to leave because something isn't adapted for them. I know the world isn't like that. The world isn't just going to change for them but for this month it does. The lights are dimmed, the sound is lowered and they become the stars. There are still things I wish they could do like other kids but we just can't but I don't feel they are missing out on their childhood. Yes a lot of action and fun is usually jammed into the month of April and I wish they would stretch it out a little...but I can't complain really.
Every moment I wish I could capture. I wish I could just enjoy it forever but that is life and it doesn't stop for anyone. I have missed 2 years of autism walks, I really planned to attend this year, I should but for some reason I never do it. I do the buddy walk and Girls on the run but for some reason something so dear to me I stopped doing. The girls do have soccer but I think Chloe would like the walk a little more then soccer. I really miss all my autism families. You really create a bond even if you don't see each other for a year or more....you know they are there. They understand what you went through and what you are going through. So maybe that will be the moment I capture this month...us walking for Autism Delaware....for my girls....for all the other families.